Sunday, June 12, 2011


Imagine learning of life ,growing up with the stresses of the world ,,post911
loving your friends and holding them close ,,to make sense of your world,, to make you feel safe.
Going though the normal questions of adolescence ,, then experiencing a traumatic life altering event ,, and your friends,, turn their back because,, they say,, your to self absorbed ,,, ,,,i think those people are the ones self absorbed,, turning their back on a friend,, she never hurt them, caused drama,, or told lies,, shes just a kid growing up looking to find herself..
so the worst thing is she might talk about herself? i think shes terrific and im happy to listen,,,and with her life experiences.. i bet she could of used a friend to help her though,,,

Wednesday, June 8, 2011


i never like Heros,, i feel if you put someone on a pedestal they are sure teeter and fall...
Yet ive fallen into the ,, these two people have helped me
..they inspired me,,,
i have always been an artist since the day my eyes could focus,,i saw the world in shapes and colors and patterns,,, i found myself drawn to anything creative,,, photography ,,, fim making i was totally absorbed,,
Eventually i was disillusioned by the business aspect ,,and changed my direction in life,,,
I was married and started a family, which for me was not as easy as it sounds,,, after loosing my twins,,,, and then my daughter Ashley .. it was an endless revolving door to the operating room,,after many years,,i was blessed with triplets,,, and i dedicated my life to them,,, and to their health,, of which they had many issues,,,,
so for almost 20 years my drawing,, painting sketching,, were put away..
my children now were getting more independent,,, and i came across ..Doc Ivan .. he was a digital artist,, and a devoted Howard Stern fan.. I loved his stuff,, so i tried to work on my computer to master Adobe Photoshop , since my computer skills arent great,,it was frustrating .. i became friendly with Doc,, he is sweet and willing to give me encouragement..
after a year i found ,, :)
by then i was chopping for around a year,,, i was terrible,,lol..
After joining the site i became familiar with Azrainman,,,, he is amazing,, his work perfection,, the colors the positioning ,, everything,,, his mind!!!!! hes brilliant!

His friendship and encouragement helped me to excel .. These two people have no idea ,, how they have helped me.. being in my home almost 24/7 .. taking care of 3 disabled children,, was taking its tole..Please dont take me the wrong way,,i adore my children and id do anything for them,, but when a mother sees her children suffer ,,it beats down on her soul.. it chips away at a persons feelings,,you become numb a empty shell,, the creativity that runs through your body dies,,, your left with nothing more then a robotic mass of cells.. surviving but not truly living....

So i dedicate this post to two of my heros...

* btw i Love Howard Stern ,, ty for keeping me going for over 20 years
laughter is the most powerful thing in the universe!